I often get asked “how do you manage to do everything that you do?” and the honest answer to that question is that… I have really good boundaries.

These are boundaries that go beyond surface level. They’re unshakeable and non-negotiable. They take a lot of intentional practice and reinforcement on my end. And they aren’t always easy to uphold.

If I had to lay out three boundaries that I believe have really helped me over the course of my writing career, and currently support me to achieve all that I do (even while working a day job), then it would be these three boundaries.

1) Boundary #1: I prioritise forming helpful beliefs

When I was growing up, I distinctly remember people nurturing my writing skills.

My parents would constantly encourage my writing and even teachers would point out that I had a talent for it, all of which my young, developing brain soaked up like a sponge.

I believe this formed a core belief that writing was meant for me and that being an author was a matter of when, not if. This has been fundamentality helpful as I have grown as a writer, navigated criticism and negative reviews, and even the query trenches of publishing.

When I started querying my manuscripts around, I expected to get rejections like any other author. Instead, I was offered a publishing deal on my first attempt ever fresh out of high school. 

But in hindsight, this doesn’t surprise me because I was already taking action like a serious author would:

• While in high school, an author came to speak at the school. I approached her with my manuscript and asked for honest feedback – then applied it without taking any of the feedback personally.
• I asked my English teacher to help me edit the book and polish it for publication.
• I developed a consistent writing routine and wrote four complete drafts before I started querying the series.

So when I was offered a contract, that made complete sense because:

• I hadn’t told myself I wasn’t good enough, and I didn’t doubt my abilities – I took actions that built evidence of refinement and confidence in my work.
• I knew I had something polished and of industry-standard to pitch to editors.
• I had already demonstrated an ability to treat it like a serious career and stick with it.

When it comes to authorship, the beliefs and thoughts you have shape your habits and actions. And yet, a lot of people have been told by their own parents and peers that they’re aren’t a good writer, that it’s not a viable career path, and that they’ll never make anything of it.

This is why I prioritise forming beliefs that are going to help me (like, “I’m meant for writing”) rather than beliefs that are going to discourage or limit me from my potential.

So if fear and doubt is holding you back on your own journey, it could be something deeply engrained, and I encourage you to do regular mindset work and rewrite any unhelpful beliefs you’re currently noticing.

Then take action in alignment with who you’re setting out to become… and watch what happens next.

2) Boundary #2: There is no room in my life for people who discourage me

Stemming off of the first point, I am very protective of my space and energy and anybody who discourages me or makes me doubt my abilities is quickly removed.

Why? Because I don’t want anybody derailing my progress or throwing me off my game, especially not without good cause!

Surrounding myself with people who support me is essential. And take note, this doesn’t mean I don’t accept feedback or criticism, as that’s very different. It just means anybody who has genuinely negative intentions towards me does not get to stay in my life, or have access to me.

This extends to trolls, haters, and people who perhaps desire to live their life differently but don’t realise they’re projecting onto me. All of this has taken a lot of practise and emotional awareness to recognise, but once I do see that someone fits into this category, it’s one of my top boundaries to remove them from my space.

Through this, I’m holding the standard for people who do get to be in my world and receive my time and energy. And by not feeding into negative behavior, I reinforce that standard of what I am available for, which strengthens the support system I’ve built around me.

3) Boundary #3: My books come first, no matter what

I prioritise my books the way some people prioritise going to the gym, or meeting their kids needs. And one core reason why I view it this way (when perhaps not everybody would) is because I see it as a business, not a hobby.

So in order for it to work like one, I need to treat it accordingly. It means having the discipline to say no to outings or evenings spent on the couch sometimes in order to write. It means waking up a few hours early to work on admin tasks or prepare for an upcoming launch. It means spending a Sunday replying to emails from bookstore managers when I could be cosy gaming or doing a tasting at a local winery. 

But going even further than this, it means being fiercely protective of my down time vs my day job time with my employer. It means planning my days off strategically so I can do book signings or leaving work early to ship signed copies out at the post-office. 

It means that at times during my career, I’ve left unsupportive work environments that haven’t supported my books or enabled me to do the things I need to do to grow the business. It means I’ve moved myself across the country to access better opportunities for them. And none of that has been a privilege, it’s been hard work and years of sacrifice to get into a position to be able to do any of these things (including putting off getting a house when most of my peers have mortgages, and choosing not to have kids). 

In short, it means making it the priority, no matter who else might disagree. And that doesn’t mean my day job is treated less than or that I de-prioritise my relationships. It just means I’m really intentional with everything that I do and I don’t overpromise to things I know I can’t commit to.

I hope this article inspired you and helped you see things in a new way! 

What boundaries do you currently have for your books – and better yet, what boundaries do you feel you need to put in place moving forward? DM me on Instagram and let me know!